Auto-Tune the News #12: weed. lesbian allegaytions.

The possibility of California marijuana legalization and suggestion of Supreme Court lesbianism inspire rousing choruses from concerned/excited news personalities.

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Lyrics:

The market value of pot would go down, down, down if we legalize it
Then supersize it
Right now, now, now
$4,000 an ounce
That’s way too much
$400 an ounce
That’s ten times the blunts
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right right now, now, now

That huge profit margin would go down, down, down if pot were legal
For the needy people
Right now, now, now
Does it lead to harder drugs?
No more than cigarettes
No, absolutely not
It leads to happiness
We need to smoke a little more pot, right? right. Right now, now, now

A photo of supreme court nominee Elena Kagan shows Kagan playing softball
Uh, uh…
That’s been sort of a signal like 2 men sunbathing together on a beach
Or something like that
The immediate implication is that they’re gay
That’s all, I’ve, I’ve known that for a long time
And as soon as I saw that picture
I knew the implication:
She’s gay, she’s gay!
I saw the allegation:
she’s gay, she’s gay!
Her sexual orientation
Significant in her confirmation
Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay, gay lesbian)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaay? (GAY)
Is she gaaaaaay? (a gay lesbian, lesbian)

Gay, gay, gay, gay like two men sunbathing together on a beach (3x)
Or something like that
The White House denies her gayness
But she got Village People on her iPod playlist

::laughing/chuckling/chortling::

There’s nothing wrong with a little levity
When we’re short on thoughts and long on brevity

::bantering::

Is she gaaaaay? (a lesbian, lesbian)……
we’re having a conversation
about the implication
of sexual orientation
a silly allegation
of extreme exaggeration
and pointless information
when it comes to confirmation

You would have to smooooke
14 joints in 1960
Today minus 50
To get just as hiiiigh
As in 2010 with just 1 joint
Goin back in time always disappoints
Isn’t that amazing?
It’s gonna be crazy in 2060

If we legalize marijuana
It would be a very dark day
In California
Dark with smooooke
Very bad idea
Would it balance our budget?
It would not!
Half of voters favor legalizing pot
If we legalize marijuana
It would be a dark, dark day
Very bad!
A dark, dark best day I’d ever have
A dark, dark, dark, dark, dark dark day.

Comments

25 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Unfortunately, just because it shouldn’t be doesn’t mean that it isn’t 🙁

  2. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Actually, I’m Catholic, and I believe in secularism (separation of church and state) on the basis that not everyone in my country follows the same religion that I do. I would suppose that in as big a country as America, there would be even more religions, and I don’t think I would like it very much if someone from a different religion tried to impose his views on me. That said, as a Catholic, I would abide by my religion’s guidelines simply because it represents my belief.

  3. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Are you kidding me? Ever heard of separation of church and state? You are not supposed to use religion in politics. Who says Reagan is one of the best presidents? Washington was one of the founding fathers who created separation of church and state.
    I am not religious at all, but I am probably more moral than most christians. We dont need a book to tell us right from wrong. We also realize that not allowing gays to marry, slavery, and stoning people is immoral. Your bible condones all of those.

  4. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Smoking pot does not make you gay! It just opens you mind up to understand gays have rights like anyone else does! Perhaps if all the gay & lesbians smoked pot THEY would wake & bake up to the fact that pot heads have rights to? Little known fact smoking a joint or sucking a cock is not a gateway drug but breast milk is! I never sucked a cock bur I was breast feed then I tried LSD finally I smoked pot & have never moved on to harder drugs like cigarette coffee or booze because that stuff is evil

  5. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    And how is weed an issue?

  6. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    I think he was meaning to say that gay marriage shouldn’t be an issue.

  7. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Best one ever

  8. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    this isn’t twitter. thebeast12600 probably didn’t even see ur comment 

  9. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Lincoln, you mean the guy that often were accused for being an atheist?
    And by that logic, Bush would have been an atheist, but last time i checked, he was a pretty religious guy.

    No, you have more than those 2 choices, to believe that you are either religious or you have some messed up narcissistic view on the world are so dumb i can’t even begin to explain.

  10. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    BTW. softball playing makes you a lesbian? I’ve always had my doubts about American Football players and their huddle, that’s super gay to me 🙂

  11. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    you know, that’s what I like about americans, you’re funny even when you think you’re serious. Regan as one of the best presidents is either a joke or a sad statement about the quality of (modern) US presidents.

  12. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Religion is the Most Important thing In politics. The best presidents where Religious nuts as you would call them. Reagan, Lincoln,Washington,Roosevelt. If we take away Religion from politics are Politicians would have no moral values and think they are the Most Powerful things on earth. 

  13. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    2:11

  14. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    I still think this was the best one that was released.

  15. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Still watching this today! Best auto tune the news!

  16. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    if two people wish to commit their lives to eachotherin some kind of formal way, there should be no legal issues. If you live in a world where gay marriage is wrong, then you live in a f***ed world and you should consider returning there.

  17. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Is she chewing beer? xD

  18. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    “Like two men, sunbathing together on a beach,
    Like two men, sunbathing together on a beach,
    Like two men, sunbathing together on a beach,
    Or something like that.”

  19. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    i watch this video for about 40 seconds then i repeat it.

  20. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    im sorry but your mom is secretly meeting a lesbian prostitute

  21. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    HOMO KUSH!

  22. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Why would you even bring that up? I wasn’t even talking about someone getting murdered. The topic I’m trying to get across is why would you care what someone else does according to their sexual orientation? It’s stupid to concern yourself with someone else’s sexual preferences.

  23. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    Seems like you are lucky that not being able to speak English properly isn’t punishable by law.

  24. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    If someone you don’t know is murdered, it doesn’t affect your life in any way.

  25. Anonymous says:
    Posted August 17, 2012 at 2:15 am | Permalink

    trololol


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